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  1. I just stick the matches into my ear and give it a twist. Cleans my ears and waterproofs the matches at the same time. Smells a little like cheese a lot of times, but hey, I am not eating them on a regular basis.

     I'm in the woods and going to use a plastic tent stake that I probably do not have on me for a feather stick? What the heck am I in the woods for getting a fire started with plastic?

    Yep, hey Roger, go a spare pair of fruit of the looms I can borrow? Man Rog…this water tastes like crap. What Rog? …those were your underwear that you wore for a week. F@$k!!!!

    Dandelion fluff will ignite the leaves, which ignite the grass which Holy Sh!t ignite the forest!

    One final note to self…do not go camping with this guy! He is unprepared as hell and my experiences sucked using this advice.

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